I was married 50 years ago and divorced 35 years ago. I married young and neither my husband or I received any guidance. We both came from unhappy families. He was seeking a sexual partner. I was seeking security. We were both woefully ignorant in terms of what marriage is about and had no example to guide us. I have two sons and therefore have no wish to annul my marriage which to me is effectively to deny that I have a family. The ‘church’ was unable to provide me with any support when I was broken by my failure to have a successful marriage. I won’t comment on one priest’s response which was ‘inappropriate’ to say the least. I do not feel sinful. Rather I feel that I failed in a very difficult situation. ‘Mercy’ (or ‘forgiveness’) is not an appropriate response to my predicament. Rather I feel unable to forgive myself for failing my children, though I have now accepted the situation. Thankfully I have lovely grandchildren who are part of my family I have not remarried,, not through choice – the opportunity just never arose (Thank you God!) I am happy to be alone now because I would not like to have the same extremely painful and lonely experience again., though it would have been good to find out that I could make a good relationship!
I do not understand why priests who are unable to keep their vows are treated differently to me – their fellow priests wish them happiness. is this all about ‘having sex’? Priests haven’t yet (perhaps) but we have had sex and should not have another chance at sexual happiness? Can the church fathers understand that sex is NOT our major preoccupation?