I was a religious 40 years and priest 30 years before leaving with permission to get married. I was blessed all this time with a great education, wonderful confreres and good superiors. I had great and bad experiences in many parts of both countries that taught me a lot; but I started as an immature teenager, and hurt a number of people – particularly women religious – In confused friendships as I struggled to be celibate. Our order even has an organization of former members that keep in touch, and many are still extraordinary Christians and members of the Church. The person I married had a multi-handicapped foster son and she died of cancer a year after our marriage, so I had him for 15 more years before he died. He too taught me much in his different way. I still begin my day with an hour of contemplative prayer, and am active in both Church and political-social things – trying to work for the reign of God in this world….and I read and do other tasks at Church, as well as attend non-Catholic Churches in my area to try to bring us all closer together…God’s will for us as I see it. I now see “Church” as wider than our official Catholic views. I resonated with Pope John 23rd and Vatican II, and I do again with Pope Francis. I wonder (Prayerfully) I there is a new place for people with my outlook – a non-celibate and married sort of religious order of priests and perhaps non-priests – to fit into today’s world? And as I see parishes all around me closing for lack of priests, I wish I could be helping by offering Mass at some of them…before it gets too late and we die of old age. I regularly would like to add my “two cents worth” at both Masses and Protestant services.
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